Today we will tell the story of Kira, who after the loss of her great love finds the strength and courage to be reborn.
“When the gods decided to put you in my path, my life was leaking everywhere. I was divorcing the man I had loved all my life. I was practically biting off a piece of my flesh. How much pain. Nothing. it was more like before nor would it ever be.
I would have raised my daughters alone, for us no more Christmas lunches together, nor festive dinners around the table. No more mothers, fathers and children as in the drawings of my little daughter who they were holding hands.
And then the lawyers‘ delirium. The poison. Every molecule in my body was poisoned. “
Enjoy your reading. 🙂
You found me like this when you came to my office. Black hair, blue eyes, radiant as the dawn light.
Fate was already plotting its drawings when you asked me to have a coffee together. You know, I’m new, I would like to understand how it works here…. You were asking me to help you fit into the new environment.
Thus began the sweet speeches, the fleeting glances, the belly in turmoil when you approached me.
One day you were absent and my day suddenly turned gray. I began to understand. For a long time we met as colleagues until it happened that the signs became increasingly clear on the horizon: you were my promised land. I had found my half of the apple.
Our souls proceeded light in unison: same tastes, same passions, same political ideas. An overwhelming physical attraction. Soon dinners or weekends together weren’t enough. We were greedy for each other. We wanted to live together at any time of the day. We wanted to meet each other in bed every night to whisper sweet words in our ears. We were addicted to the smells and flavors that were mixed in our love nights. Come and stay with me. I asked him one day without mincing words and he hugged me tightly. The following week we bought a new bed at Ikea. I was immensely happy. We spent a few years of serenity, until at a certain point, we started with strong quarrels.
Sudden and stormy explosions of his bad moods.
Passing clouds. I told myself. Instead they began to become more and more frequent. One evening he began to insult me for no reason, leaving me perplexed, astonished.
Those same gods who had lowered him into my life to soothe my wounds decided one day that it was time to take back their gift. I’m leaving. Sitting in the kitchen I hear those words that did not enter my head and remained stubbornly out of it.
I love another woman.
It happened, I’m sorry. Nobody is to blame. I felt under indictment. Lately you neglected me, always taken by the children, by work. Between us it was no longer the same. If you love me you have to let me go. I should have helped you build your raft back to Ithaca but I wasn’t ready. Something subtle and malicious was taking you away from me. I couldn’t do anything against this evil design. So I washed you with my most fragrant conditioners, dried you with my long hair and climbed the cliff to see you go and take off. And when you disappeared on the horizon I went back to my cave. To my long, cold winter. Without his sun, my body refused to live. I was beginning to lose weight, insomnia invaded my nights spent thinking about you. Which woman now had the privilege of being by your side, of being welcomed into your heart? I could still smell your musky smell but couldn’t find your chest to drown the pain in.
I was bumping into objects and memories that hung all over the place, ice stalactites in our alcove. In the office I was distant and absent. At home with my children I was at my worst. One day, for a triviality, I slapped my daughter. I will never forget those eyes that penetrated my eyes, digging in search of a small spark that would allow her to recognize her mother.
“You are no longer my mother”, she told me relentlessly. It was so, she was right. I felt a tightening in my stomach. I was afraid of losing her and her sister. I had to shake out of that numbness and react.
So, slowly I began every now and then to come out of my cave. First for fleeting excursions, then for longer and longer walks. I was beginning my ascent to the surface. I could not succumb to the waves of fate. I owed it to those two little sisters who looked at me with their big eyes. Like a castaway I clung to all sorts of wrecks in order to survive while waiting for a friendly ship to come and rescue me.
One day I was sitting on a bench at the lake. The hot sun reflected on the water streaked every now and then by white sails. I was fine. That sun entered me and warmed every crevice of my body. I felt the life he craved within me. I felt it throbbing in every fiber, in every piece of meat.
“Listen to this song a bit”. My daughter, sitting next to me, tells me, handing me the headset. I look at her and smiled. She has noticed my change and now she wants me to re-enter her world through the door of the music she loves. I feel happy and relieved. I suddenly rediscover my meaning in being a mother. The memory of that unhappy love slowly begins to fade. It will take some time, I will have to take care of my garden, weed it out, put water, plant new seeds, waiting for another fruitful spring.